So, let’s talk about perfectionism for a minute.

Early studies on hoarding found a pretty clear link between the behaviour and perfectionism, especially something fancy called “maladaptive evaluative concern.” But really, what that boils down to is just being seriously stressed over making mistakes.

When we say “perfectionism,” we’re not just talking about having high standards (which is totally normal). We are actually referring to a kind of rigid mindset. It’s about worrying way too much about what others think if we slip up or don’t nail something perfectly.

Ever feel so afraid of not being perfect that you’d rather not even start a task? We all have and often it is a piece of written work, schoolwork, a talk and of course reorganising. Those are common struggles.

With hoarding, procrastination can often come from the fear of not being able to organise everything just right—so you think, “Why even bother if I can’t do it perfectly?” I have heard this so often, they may not use the word ‘perfectly’ often it is replaced with ‘right’. We need to reinforce that there is not a ‘Right’ way to organise, it’s what works for them.

What causes perfectionism?

So, what causes some folk to be bogged down by perfectionism? I recently read that parents’ comments can really shape this. when you hear things like, “I expect you to get straight A’s,” it can drive perfectionism. But on the flip side, when parents are not openly affectionate or supportive, kids might end up believing they need to be perfect to earn that love.

If kids don’t feel the warmth they crave, they might think it’s because they're not measuring up. The mindset can turn into, “If I just achieve everything, then my parents will love me.” But when those great results don’t get them the affection they hoped for, it can lead to a feeling of failure, making them want to stop trying altogether. Why put in the effort if it doesn’t guarantee love, right?

There could be a sibling comparison. If you’ve ever been called “the good one or the clever one,” this might hit home for you. The good news? It’s never too late to start showing unconditional love—especially to yourself.

So, in a nutshell, perfectionism is all about being stuck in an inflexible mindset. By dodging those uncomfortable feelings and pushing things off, you get caught in this loop:

What might it look like for a person who hoards?

— Do everything perfectly, or don’t do it at all. 

— Don’t get the love and acceptance you crave, even when you try your best. 

— Think, “I must not be perfect if I’m not getting love.” 

— And then you end up convincing yourself that not trying at all means you can’t fail!

Perfectionism is a complex topic, and there’s a lot to unpack. Here are some key points and insights:

Different Types of Perfectionism.

1. Self-Oriented Perfectionism:

This is when individuals set unrealistically high standards for themselves. They might constantly feel like they're falling short and often face immense pressure to achieve these goals.

 2. Other-Oriented Perfectionism:

This is the expectation that others should meet high standards. People with this mindset might be critical of others, believing that if someone doesn't do something perfectly, they are failing.

3. Socially Prescribed Perfectionism:

This type arises from the belief that others expect perfection from them. It can lead to anxiety and depression, as individuals feel they must constantly meet external expectations.

The Upsides and Downsides of Perfectionism.

Some see perfectionism as a drive for excellence and achievement. It can motivate you to set high goals and strive for quality in your work.

 However, it can also lead to chronic dissatisfaction, anxiety, and even burnout. The pressure to be perfect can make people fear failure so much that they avoid taking risks or trying new things altogether.

Impact on Mental Health: Research suggests a link between perfectionism and mental health issues like anxiety, depression, and eating disorders. The relentless pursuit of perfection can lead to heightened stress levels and lower self-esteem.

Coping Strategies.

1. Challenge Negative Thoughts: Recognize and question those “all or nothing” thoughts. Instead of thinking you must be perfect, consider what “good enough” looks like.
2. Set Realistic Goals: Break larger tasks into smaller, manageable steps. Celebrate progress rather than waiting for perfection. Open up space slowly.
3. Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding when things don’t go as planned. Accept that everyone makes mistakes.
4. Embrace Imperfection: Try not to view mistakes as failures. Instead, see them as opportunities for growth and learning. Better done than perfect!
5. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Incorporating practices like meditation and deep-breathing exercises can help reduce stress and create a better balance. Don’t laugh it off before trying it.

Understanding perfectionism is vital because it helps us recognise its impact on our lives and how we relate to ourselves and others. It’s a common struggle, but it's important to remember that a little imperfection is not only okay but often leads to personal growth. Ask your client if they fear failure and use the learning here to guide them away from this blockage.

 The key is finding a balance that allows them to strive for ‘their’ excellence without letting the fear of imperfection hold them back.